Monday, October 28, 2013
Nothing is going to change, lol
I want to record my thoughts and kids' milestones.
I want to grow and this blog will be my evidence and memory of that happening.
As of today, I'm on week 7 of Experiencing God. Oh my goodness, so much information and I see where in my pain I have missed opportunities. I have been shown how in my self centeredness, I have missed God's voice because it wasn't how I
That needs to stop NOW.
In my ignorance, unbelief, stubbornness, fear, I have missed out. Yet, in times when I was shaking in nervousness and fear it has almost always worked out.
Every Sunday one of the home church leaders gives the benediction. Rob usually does this and does it well, but this weekend he was camping with Wyatt. I was going to have to step up. EEK!
Sunday morning the boys got home in time to shower and head with us girls to church. On the way there Rob tells me that I'm still going to have to go up and pray. I was OK with it but as the service went on that nervous feeling stole over me. I leaned over to Rob and begged him to do it instead. He said no, but he would stand beside me. Our worship team started to play Casting Crowns Voice of Truth . It was just what I needed to hear. I went up and prayed. I find it funny how I can stand before a crowd of strangers and talk, but when I'm in front of people who claim to love and care about me I freeze.
It is something I wonder about and I think I will journal about it. I will ask and get an answer.
With all of these new revelations going on for me, I have picked up where I left off in my retreat planning. This time instead of me trying to figure things out, I'm looking, listening and waiting for those moments that guide you on your path. I've come to realize that when I do it this way instead of trying to force my will, things work out and are that much sweeter and memorable.
These two photos were taken by Kelly when her girl scout troop went to the Tucson Botanical Gardens. In all my 20yrs of living in Tucson I have never been here, so I couldn't pass the opportunity to get some photos. I gave Kelly my Rebel XT and told her to shoot whatever caught her eye. Among some of my favorite shots were some of the butterflies and a couple of what I like to call, "quiet spots".
One day, whether in my own back yard or my dream of having a retreat center I want lots of quiet spots. I look out across my dust bowl back yard and dream of what could be if my dogs would stop eating and destroying everything.
Anyway, I hope to document more of the goings on and share others that teach and inspire me.