Friday, May 18, 2007

The hits keep coming.

Last night was Kelly's graduation. We couldn't get her to look at the camera in her very pretty dress unless she was making a funny face, so this is the best shot from before graduation.
At graduation we struggled to get her to put on the cap and gown, once that was on grandmom stayed with her as the kids were to walk up the aisle and sit on the stage. Kelly lost it. She wouldn't do any of it. Kelly ended up sitting in the audience with us and we couldn't coax her to get her certificate. The after graduation photos didn't go much better. I don't think the guy got a shot of her. I was ready to cry, oh hell, I did cry. I asked my mom what did I do wrong, that my child is so introverted that she won't do anything that her classmates do. It really upsets me that Kelly doesn't or refuses to try to do anything with anyone unless she really knows the other kids. So after we did the graduation pictures we immediately left. We did not stay for the cake or to hang out.
I know I shouldn't let this bother me and I know where it comes from. Wanting that child who takes the perfect picture, who does what you tell them, and actually talks to the other kids and plays with them.
I now have to work on "my" thinking or my idea of how my child is, not what I want her to be.
**** so this morning we had another hit. Our little boston terrier Bubba passed away last night. We buried him this morning next to the grave of our boxer Brewtus. Rob has taken the day off again and he really is having a hard time dealing with all of this but he hasn't cried and he says he feels he has nothing inside. I think this all stems from his father's death many years ago. I feel that he has not grieved.
I told Kelly that Bubba went to heaven and that we won't see him again. I know she doesn't fully understand but she hasn't asked where he is yet either. I also said we only have Chester (who isn't doing great- he's 12) and Braxton to play with now. She said "Okay" and we will see how it goes.
**The memorial service for Kim is scheduled for Monday at 6pm at Arizona Mortuary on Stone. I still have some friends of Kim to tell once I can get their phone numbers.
So I think since all the family is home today we will go out to lunch or do anything to get us out of the house.
So if you pray please pray for us right now, we so need to be spiritually renewed.
Love, Carrie

1 comment:

ma said...

Oh Carrie,
Please, please look past what you want and look at this beautiful little girl and realize that she will do it when she is ready. That she had the right to refuse, she was unprepared. So when the time is right Miss Kelly will "shine" as she already does.