Give yourself a break

Give yourself a break.
This is the statement I've heard a couple of times this week.
It's not easy to hear or do, sigh, but something has got to give.
Last spring when everything went to crap with my she shed and activity slowed to a crawl I became depressed, angry and self abusive. I've gained about 30 lbs and my self esteem went down the drain. I fought the battle of the bulge but I didn't do the mental work to deal with the roots of my issues so when crap hit the fan all the yuck came up. I have tried to work on me with self help and leadership books. I started following positivism accounts on Instagram. I read bible verses, I prayed, I grieved.
Yesterday, Rob asked me when was the last time I read for fun, did anything for fun, being post monthly time all I wanted to do was cry.
How do you give yourself a break? How do you let the truth sink in? The truth that you are perfectly and wonderfully made and that some of your wiring needs to be updated.
I sit in this, not knowing whats my next step, most days are good and I fake it till I make it other days my head stays down, I become quiet and more introspective.
There is a small quiet voice that says if I can let go, the weight will come off, I'll feel better and be more productive in the long run.
So this morning I grabbed a "good" book that my mom gave me and will begin reading for fun.
My mind is already trying to busy myself up with my "have to do's".
I really don't need to read more self help books, they're all starting to say the same thing. I just need to feel them, accept the truth, does that make any sense. The answers are in me, with me but nothing is penetrating this mire of crap I'm sitting in.

*Carrie*