Wednesday, May 09, 2012

This past weekend I was at retreat called Learning to Love the Master with 20+ ladies from our church.
The premise of the course is to write your God story. Which in easy terms means that you start with your earliest memories, whether you were a believer or not and ask where God was. It can be very powerful to see along the way how the Lord protected, cried, laughed and held you during your journey to him.
For me it was slightly different.
I had to learn that I don't have to get it "right". That God made me just the way he wanted me to be and that I need to stop trying to be someone else.
I found that I have been heading in the direction the He is leading me and that I need to stop making excuses for it and be a light for myself and for others.
In Carrie terms that means that I continue to wear bright colors, sing while standing in line, dancing around a room when there is no music and trying to make you smile almost every time I talk to you. I have learned how tender my heart really is and that I marvel at the beauty that is our world that my Father created for us.
Learning to Love the Master is not just a one time retreat, its something that I found I have been doing for a couple of years now, I just didn't know it.
See, Rob took the course a few years ago and I asked him questions on how it works. Since then I have been seeking where God has been whenever a memory came up.
When this retreat was announced for the women, I felt no hesitation, I was open to the experience and excited to see where God was going to take me.
This is very unlike me because I tend to be a home body and I don't like to room with 5 other women.
By the way the accommodations were awesome! Yes, it was rooms filled with bunk beds but there was A/C and great water pressure and the food was down home yummy.
When we started the overview Friday night I was all psyched up, ready to cry, ready to cleanse and learn more about my life. While I tried to force memories and be like the other women in my group it became very apparent that that's not the direction God wanted to go.
And I'm really curious to see where God wants me to go.

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