Wednesday, August 22, 2012

This will probably be a lot of rambling because I haven't posted in so long but if you love me, you'll forgive me.
As a family we've been dealing with one of our own and stealing. Stealing money from my wallet, books from school, you get the drift. We are going through our first grounding which in detail is being shut up in the persons room with no TV, ds or music. Your only companion is books. The duration of this grounding is two weeks. We are almost a week into it and have had more problems. We've done what the parenting books suggested. I'm praying we've made a turn in a better direction.
Tonight I had a serious heart to heart with my oldest. We talked about becoming the person God created us to be and knowing right from wrong and listening to our heart. We talked about what beauty is and what really matters.
All I can do is pray that she heard me. She seemed receptive and even offered up examples. I just need to continue to reinforce it. Growing up is so hard to do, and it seems so much harder now.
In our conversation we even began the birds and bees talk. Gulp. I tried to be as cool as my mom was with me; or at least I think she was cool. I guess the more we talk about it the more comfortable we will both get. I did praise my girl for the change in her attitude, she's no longer as negative as she used to be. I also did my best to reinforce her wonderful worth and how what she has to offer to the family is important.
I now have eyes that see and a heart that wants to see and make changes. With God's guidance that is all I can ask for.
On a continued, happier note, I'm about to finish a study for the first time. By myself. No one to hold me accountable but me. I feel awesome about that. A couple of years ago I did the Artists Way 12 week course and I never completed it (I think I stopped around week 8 or 10). Now I'm about to finish the second book, Walking in this World.  This book has really spoken to me right where I am right now. I realize now how much I have grown since I first started Artists Way almost three years ago. I was looking at my book the other day and saw how much I have put into practice what I thought I had forgotten.
After I finish Walking in this world I plan on happily starting the last book, Finding Water.
 I'm taking steps that will continue to grow me into a better person, the person God created me to be. I'm using all the potential people said they have always seen in me. And you know what? Its not scary at all. Its so freakin freeing. Once I stopped fighting it and went where my heart lead and is leading me, I'm happier and in a better place emotionally than ever.
I discovered over the weekend that the one thing I was/am struggling with is confidence. I can fake it til I make it but I was doubting my abilities and I found two verses in my bible that just hammered home. The first is from 2 Corinthians 3:5, Its not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own, our qualification comes from God.(NLT) and then second verse is Romans 15:13, I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.(NLT)
I'm working on a women's retreat course. I finally said it. This is for almost everyone.
You don't have to go to church to attend, you just have to believe in God.
It is something that has consumed my time, but in a happy way. This will be a course that combines some of my favorite things; journaling, art, food and pampering. I have huge dreams but I'm going to give this a test run in the spring of next year. When I have discussed the premise of this course, every woman has shown interest. I'm hammering out the details now. I dream of it being a weekend that will not only lift you up but show you how amazing you are and how much you have to offer yourself and those around you.


dwinner said...

I'm so happy that I found your blog.
I have always thought of you as a great parent. I have wished many of times I could stay home and be more involved in school, activities and things for my daughter. I think you ( and Rob) have made a good choice on consequences and following through with it. its not always easy being parents but we do what we feel is right. The talk you had with your oldest is awesome. I myself have found that without God in our lives we would have had rougher times. My daughter is learning a lot about herself through God. As well as I am. I too ha e struggled with self worth and confidence. It's take. me a while but I'm getting there.Keep it up. I would love to hear more about the women's retreat.

Anonymous said...

Well Daughter, you finally did it, you have set a course, your compass reads north and you are on your way. Have faith in your plan, God will guide you.

This part is for Kelly,
Dearest granddaughter, I love you with all my heart, and i hope that this time of thinking has shown you how much we all love you.

I know what it is like to desire things that you cannot have, I grew up in a very poor family and there were many times that my mom couldn't afford to buy the things I wanted. In time I often forgot about those things and realized that they weren't that important after all. And you mom felt worse than I did, because she felt that she had let me down and that hurt her heart. She would cry sometimes because she couldn't do more, and I learned that sometimes even parents can't afford even $5.00.
Please be patient, know we all love you and want only good things for you. We're here for you any time, any place.