Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Just like this bloom that was opening for the day, so
I am too blossoming in the love and knowledge of who God has created me to be.
Pretty heavy words to start a post but they ring so true.
I'll start with yesterday, I was doing some research for my retreat course and I was looking up ideas and scripture for my course notes.
I found so many people online who are doing what
I want to do, or they have something to say on the subjects that I feel that they are doing it better than I could.
I continued on, trying to ignore my lack of confidence, but it all came to a head last night. I had found a verse for something special planned and as I read through my LLM (Learning to Love the Master) manual, I broke down into tears as I struggled through why God has put me on this journey. I took my concerns to my journal and asked God for his answer.
And he gave me one.
You are a spark, to give hope and rest to those you will serve.
I cried.
It was during my tears that my friend LaDonna texted, Hey chickadee. We ended up having a conversation that I'm still sitting in.
We truly don't realize how we inspire or whose life we have touched by just being ourselves, that even when told this, it is hard for us to accept.
This morning as I continue to reflect, I saw today's daily truth from the Brave Girls club. Brave Girls daily truths
I just love how God works in our lives, especially when we open our eyes to see the beauty that is around us and inside each of us.
Last Wednesday I was shown quite blatantly that I'm on the right course.
Rob and I were sitting at dinner and out of nowhere it felt as if someone and just rushed up into my face and started yelling at me. I almost had to gasp for breath it was that profound. I have never had anything like that happen before. The words I heard were that; I wasn't going to do this retreat, to stop now before it was too late and that I wasn't good enough to do it and that the retreat wasn't good enough.
Once everything was spewed out I just sat there for a second, really that's about how long it took before the calm set in and I just knew that I was on the right track. I didn't really give the words a second thought because it was such a blatant attack that I knew it for the lies they were. I just kept thinking, Wow, I must be doing something right.
I have been shown over and over again that I am on the path set before me by my Creator. I'm willing to walk into whatever He needs me to because I know on the other side I will be better for it. It doesn't mean that the walk is easy or not without setbacks, but as long as I cast my eyes upon my Father each time I start to stumble, then I will walk into the person and life he wants for me. Its far better than I can dream for myself.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's what came to mind when you told me what happened. It's funny how many people would rather listen to the garbage spewing from satan then listen to the Father that has nothing but good in his heart for our well being. Glad you didn't let the "spew" win out.
Believe in yourself, and trust that God will bring you through it.