Monday, February 25, 2013

5 things right now

This morning I made some weekly goals for myself.
1. To lose weight. I'm still working out Mon-Fri but this past weekend I wasn't completely healthy in my eating.
2. I saw a motivation board on pinterest and want to recreate one for myself, one with positive quotes and plenty of encouragement.
3. I also want to make a visualization board, goals and dreams, things to strive for, pray for
4. I want to paint one canvas this week, no matter how small
5. To do my best to think and be more positive.
Me, right now?
I want to take my family and go travel, see the world and all its majesties.
I want to have a bigger craft space, space for everything and the kids :)
I want a clear vision of what God wants me to do. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels
And finally, I'm scared and tired.
Working through fear would probably be very easy if I didn't procrastinate. lol
I keep putting up road blocks instead of taking the small steps to move forward.

I dream, but have no idea where to start.
First draft isn't the final draft.
Practice makes perfect.
At one point we are all amateurs.
On the flip side are all the negatives screaming back at me:
Not good enough,
never gonna have it
don't deserve it
its too hard
what if its more than I can handle
what if I fail?.......
In all honesty, I'm going to get this stuff done, I'm just struggling right now.
Please pray for me, OK? Maybe leave me a word of encouragement.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

While I love Valentine's Day for all the red, pinks and hearts, I'm not one of those women who expect flowers and a box of chocolates. Something about this day tends for me to think it's more about a yearly affirmation that my husband still loves me. I don't need that because my hubby tells me every day in lots of little ways that he loves me. While getting a huge box of chocolate sounds really awesome right now, it will just make my butt bigger and I'm really working on making it smaller, and the flowers will just wilt and die in a couple of days. Now plants from the local nursery, heck yeah!
I've dropped a few pounds and am still working out almost every single day. At first it was all about the competition and the money, now it's about me and I'm truly believing that because when everyone posted their weight loss/gain I wasn't comparing myself to others.
Yesterday Rob and I were able to go with Wyatt on a field trip to see a trio of Taiko drummers. It was really cool, we got to ride on a school bus there and back. Oh the memories. The drummers were amazing to watch and great with the kids. Granted at times it was super loud and some of the kids were covering their ears but so inspiring. The men talked about how they met, and when they first started playing the drums and their journeys. Just cool.
We came home from school to find that Anna and Bailey had gotten into another fight. The fights have really escalated the last month or so. In this picture Bailey is on the left and Anna is on the right with Bacon in the middle.
Bailey was bad enough that we had to take her into the emergency vet. We were all crying. She had a huge gash on her right paw that had to be stapled and a sprained paw and on the backside of the left paw she had another gash that had to be stapled. Plus other cuts and puncture wounds. The dogs managed to get her harness off without unhooking or breaking it in any way. My poor baby. We've talked to a couple of vets and we can't find the cause of the fights and we aren't home when they happen.
Thanks to mom, who loaned us the $400 to get her cleaned up and into the e collar,  we packed up the crate and moved her to mom's house to recover. We were concerned about mom's dog Gerdie, but so far it has been going well. We think Gertie, who is pretty much deaf and blind, senses that Baily is hurting and is concerned. Mom says that last night Gertie slept next to the crate while Bailey cried on and off, and this morning the two did really well. As long as Bailey does well and doesn't destroy mom's house, she can stay. We are still planning on keeping Anna on one condition, she can't attack another dog or person, if she does, she's gone.
While this whole situation breaks my heart and I have cried so much, I have to do what's best even when it hurts.
After talking with mom this morning she has full plans on spoiling Bailey in hopes that she doesn't eat her coffee table or her plants.
Believe me, I have prayed and journaled that things will work out for all parties.
Also, I have no plans on taking or posting photos of Bailey's injuries. It hurts too much.

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Last week I went on a field trip with Kelly's class to Old Tucson. I couldn't tell you how long its been since I've been there.
It was Ted Walker Youth day and there was about 4000 people and students running around.
One of the attractions was the chance to read to a horse. This fella was getting a little lippy with his handler and was making all sorts of funny faces.
Out of all the photos I took, this one kept flashing in my mind, except the handlers hand wasn't in the way.
The photo seems to depict my life right now. A little wacky.
I finished the Breaking Free bible study and I received a bunch of insight and strategies for going through life. I've taken a few days off and have begun my Artist Way, Finding Water book. This one is more challenging because now I have to reach out to my support system. Even though these people are family and friends there is still a vulnerability I'm trying to overcome. Plus this also means I actually have to stop talking and start doing.
Guess what? I have also joined the weight loss challenge with some of the ladies from church. This is my second week and although I'm down a pound from my starting weight I gained a pound from my excuse, the Superbowl and leftovers. Today I met with the trainer to set up an exercise plan. Holy cow, I'm both excited and nervous. Tomorrow I am doing my first zumba class! I'm excited.
I truly want to be down to 200lbs. I felt and looked my best then and I'm so tired of being one of the biggest people in the room. In the last year I have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and now hyper tension. I'm not going down this road if I can help it, which I can.
Wanna know what else I'm doing? I've started working on the 52 lists project . Granted I started this yesterday but it fits where I am mentally right now and I can't wait to see what the end of the year will look like. It will be cool to look back and have such a glimpse of me one day.
I was on the treadmill yesterday and I watched most of the Secret. I've always wondered what it was about but didn't want to watch something that was against my faith. HAHAHAHA. It truly is about your attitude and your positive mental walk with God. At least that is what I got out of it. I think I will watch it again because I want to take notes and let the stuff sink in.
Back late last spring I started reading Heart Steps , and the set I got was for my kindle which included Heart Steps, Blessings, Transitions and Answered Prayers. By the end of Heart Steps I had such a positive frame of mind, I was more grateful and was actively looking for God in my life. After losing Braxton I stumbled hard, it has taken me months to get this awesome feeling back. You know, the one you don't want to end and you want to share with everyone?
Yeah, that one.
Because it just popped into my head here is my daily list: Jesus Calling devotional , journaling, getting the kids to school, gym, Finding Water study and fill in on my 52 lists (if needed).
By lunch time, Rob comes home and we eat and talk, if I have any questions or need an opinion Rob is a great sounding board.
Having so many positives sets me up for a better day. To grow, stretch and reaffirm how amazing everyday is.
My suggestions are to find things you're interested in, positive things, and delve deep into them. We all have so much untapped energy, heart and possibilities.