Tuesday, November 19, 2013
As we walked around the rows of shiny cars I stopped in front of this beauty, an original pink Cadillac, at least I'm fairly sure this is the original pink.
Any way, I wasn't sure why I was drawn to this car, my favorite is a '67 or a '70 Chevelle.
I think what drew me was the fact that she wasn't primped and polished. Here she was with a stock engine that wasn't chromed out, dings in the door and paint that has seen better days.
To me, this car is loved and respected.
I guess I relate it to the question, am I loving and respectful to myself?
Yep, this is how my brain works.
So I've sat here and pondered the question, here is what I've come up with.
I'm learning to appreciate the age that I am, while still learning how to properly care for myself so that I can hopefully last to a ripe old age. I'm seeing the gray hairs and while those are being slightly disguised right now, I'm not afraid to show them. Sure the wrinkles are coming, the creases in the forehead and laugh lines around the eyes are starting to hang around permanently. I like to think it shows character, an enjoyment for life, not getting old.
Do I love myself, probably not like I should, but I'm learning to understand what loving myself means. It's so much easier for me to love others.
Do I respect myself? Enough so that I'm pushing myself to be a better person, to grow and share my discoveries with others.
Back to the car, while a bright shiny car all tricked out is great, I don't think I would want to own one. I would be more worried about getting a nick or scratch, than enjoy driving. This pink Cadillac, yeah, I could sure see myself tooling around town, the wind blowing in my hair and Elvis on the radio, the kids eating ice cream cones in the backseat, and Rob and I holding hands while he drives. Sounds so cool to me.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Over a year ago, I expressed my being guided to do a women's retreat. I have plenty of the ground work laid out, but when it came down to writing my story, I stopped and let every negative voice in. You know the voices that I'm talking about.
I've talked about my inner struggle and the depression it caused. I've also recently talked about coming back into my light.
The past nine weeks have been a renewal for me.
I have gotten quiet, I've been grateful, I've asked for forgiveness, and I have done my best to give up control.
"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." Luke 22-42
In my journey with Experiencing God, this has been a mantra to me, paraphrasing of course.
I'm screwing it up my way, its not how I want it and I'm not getting what I want.
So I work at it everyday to change my thinking process. My questions are, where do you want me to join you? What is your will? Please give me the courage and strength to do your will.
I've noticed that when I pay attention, things are moving around me, and when I get that gut feeling that both scares and excites me, then that is my call to action. In just nine weeks I have seen results. I've told you about emailing a lady about working with her about building a retreat.
Today, we had a meeting. I'm still giddy and my creative juices are flowing. We spent over two hours talking about everything that we would like to do and the steps to building a brand and community.
I have been asked to join her team and contribute whatever I can.
Live Beautiful You, we are a blog, Facebook page and a Pinterest group. I'm hoping to contribute my voice and help build a community.
Yesterday I had another interesting thing happen. I was talking to one of the moms about looking for a job after my mother in law is done with physical therapy for her knee. One of the places I was going to look at was the kids' school. Two hours later I check Facebook and posted not 10 minutes ago is a job opportunity to be a playground/cafeteria monitor. I called the school to inquire, they sent home an application with Wyatt, I filled it out last night and took it in this morning. I'm told they will begin interviews by the end of the week. We shall see where this leads, but I'm excited.