The First Day of School

So we had a very eventful morning today. It was rise-n-shine at 6am for us and we did a great job and with little fuss got everyone fed, dressed, hair and teeth brushed with time to spare before we headed out the door.

We took photos in the backyard and the front yard. I took pictures outside of her class door. Nina (my mom) met us at the school for hugs and have fun. That's when it happened......

I almost lost it when I bent down to hug Kelly and told her that she was gonna have so much fun, then I walked Kelly to the door and let Mrs. Watt take over as she instructed the students to hang up there backpacks and to go sit on the magic carpet. I popped my head in a few seconds later (just to check :) ) and Kelly was sitting on the magic carpet and her back pack was hung up.

Once Rob, Wyatt and I got to the truck Rob said that if i needed to cry go right ahead and then I started crying a little. I don't fully understand it and of course Rob doesn't understand it but I just need to let out all those emotions about my baby girl and her first day. All my worries and fears were/are wrapped in those tears. I know Kelly will have a great day. It's about letting go. (What a hard thing to really say)

Once Wyatt and I pick Kelly up @ 1:45 we are going to DQ for an ice cream cone. I will hear about her day and we can all relax a little.

PS- there are better pictures than this but I didn't want to rotate them all right this minute.

Lucky Girl

On Saturday I get this phone call from Walmart. Kelly had colored a page for a contest and she WON!!

So yesterday we went to pick up her prize. It was a Sponge Bob backpack full of prizes and a Sponge Bob pinata. There were some good prizes in that backpack and Kelly wants to use the pinata for her birthday party. The funny thing is that we don't watch or own anything Sponge Bob!

The walmart optical center held the contest and took pictures of Kelly claiming her prize, and well of course I got photos too! Once we got home we spread her loot out on the table and I took a photo of that also. Now I just have to write a thank you card for the walmart optical generosity.

I'm here

been kinda busy lately.
The countdown has begun to the start of kindergarten. I was almost in tears yesterday when Rob and I were discussing it. This Friday is a meet and greet and I plan on getting many of my photos on Friday, this way on Monday I can focus on Kelly and that she gets off to school happy and excited. I'll cry in the van after I drop her off. My plan is that after school we go to Dairy Queen for a cone to celebrate. Sounds good to me and I have been craving DQ anyway.
Both of the kids had Dr. appts yesterday morning. Oh the brouhaha that caused. Kelly is yelling at me and telling me "NO DOCTOR TODAY" and Wyatt was just saying NO. I think both kids thought that they were getting shots,(which I thought they were). Kelly got all her shots last year so she is fine and Wyatt isn't due for any.
*** Oh my gosh!!!
I really need to watch what I say!
Kelly just interrupted me to ask if she can watch a movie and when I told her no she said.....wait for it........
"Awww shit".
Excuse me. You say shoot. That is not a nice word and I do not want to hear you use it.
Yikes, bad mama.
So to continue on, I also had a dr. appt yesterday. Yep it was that time of year. This dr. is very blunt and said that if i don't switch my milk from 2% to skim I might as well pick out my burial plot. Nice huh?
But she is very thorough and really check you over, asks lots of questions and she always orders for me to get blood work done. I'll deal with the comments because I know she justs wants me to be healthy.
So I fasted last night and had four vials of blood drawn this morning. The doctor will call me in a couple of weeks to give me the results.
So I'm off to watch some tv or hang on the computer, not sure yet.
This Saturday from 12-3 is class preview day and I will be there "pimping" my scrappin classes. (I gotta pay for my credit card bill) and I found out yesterday that they are doing this next saturday too. So I'll be at both.
Hugs carrie

Okay so I saw this on another blog and took the quiz. This is so ME! It even had Rob laughing. You should give it a try.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
The South
Philadelphia
North Central
The West
Boston
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Sorry I'm so slacking!

I'm trying to stay off the computer more and as a result I'm getting more housework done! Shh.. don't tell Rob. Time flies when your on the computer and I tend to bounce around checking out stuff and next thing I know it's 1 1/2 later. So I've only been on to pay bills and do some journaling for a few scrap pages. Yes I said scrap pages. I did 2 on Sunday and I have one that needs journaling from the scrap social.

On Saturday we did our first attempt at Wyatt's 3yr pictures. Yeah, that was NO picnic. This boy will not sit still. We sang to him and still wanted nothing to do with us. I might have two good shots. Check them out. Wyatt will not look at the camera and so I really don't like any of the shots. Maybe I'll try again but outside with better lighting.

I think this will be my next want. If I'm gonna do portraits I need better lighting!!

That and next time I'll grab Daddy's drum stool. Wyatt like to sit on that. hehehe

Off to shower and get the day going.

Carrie

They say it's your birthday.....

It's my baby boy's 3rd birthday!

That boy will not look at the camera for ANYTHING!!!

He had a very happy day. Thomas the Tank engine was present everywhere. His gifts include; birthday money from Grandpa Percy, Uncle Chuck and Aunt Joann and G-Grandma Billig. Wyatt got lots of new underwear, Thomas the train flashlight, train set, coloring books, carrying case, new trains, "Cars" outfits, and extra train tracks, dinosaur that walks. Lots of stuff to keep him busy.

Your birthday party guests include: mom, dad, kelly, nina percy, grandmom ross, grandpa foth, uncle mikey, amanda, clayton and donovan hershey (hopefully one day the hersheys will become percys') ;)

So for Wyatt's 3rd Birthday (which is actually today) a list of Wyatt's 3 favorite things

Toys; Thomas, Toy Story, Cars

Movies; (this varies a little) Toy Story 1&2, Cars, Thomas :), Monsters inc, Robin Hood

Disney channel shows; jojo's circus, little einsteins, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny

(A little Wyatt fact:) Wyatt carries Thomas the train everywhere he goes, he even sleeps with him.

So Happy Birthday Wyatt!! We love you!!

So I'm one of those people who want to take self portraits but I'm usually unhappy with the results. I decided on Wednesday to give it a try. Using Kelly as my assistant we took about 15 shots. Out of those I kinda like four of them. It didn't help when small fry just kept clicking and laughing as she worked. Of course after each shot she was saying,"come here,check it out". Oh well back to the drawing board.

Today the kids and I are heading to a place called Pump it Up. An inflatable playground. I will try to take a few shots of this place and will show you later.

Tonight is the scrap social at J's and I'm pretty sure I have 4 people signed so far. So should be a good one.

I do want to say thank you to all of you who have shown support for my decision this last week. I have felt so good and happy since I talked on Sunday and I kinda want to work tomorrow (my last day) and kinda don't. I will of course and I won't shirk my duties.

Otherwise, not much on the homefront. I'm thinking of trying to have a garage sale so that I can try to raise $200 to buy this http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60071358. I even did a drawing on graph paper so that I coud see if it could really be usable and oh is it. Talk about getting organized. This would work. But I need $220 to go to Tempe to buy it.

Oh and speaking of scrapping supplies check out what one of my favorite companies is coming out with http://www.autumnleaves.com/web/chaSummer07/cha2007Big.html . So check out their cool catalog. the first stuff you will see is new and coming out, then it was stuff that has been already released. Autumn leaves is one of my downfall. love their stuff.

For mom here is the link to the Rusty Pickle new debuts http://www.rustypickle.com/ This is what we will look for if we go to CKC in phx.

Okay enough eye candy I gotta hit the showers to get us going to Pump it up at 10am

hugs C

Called to Testify for the Lord

Over the last few months i have been really struggling with lots of different issues. Issues like should we have baby #3, why hadn't I gotten pregnant yet?(hence ? #1) Should I quit work? Why was I so angry at people who didn't even know I was angry at them? Why can't I make friends easier? Missing Kim and our friendship. Feeling jealous of Rob with his close friendship with Mike and Alonzo. It keeps going.
On Thursday I had a scrap class. When I was dropping off my roster another teacher and cordinator praised my work and said that she felt that I had talent and that she felt I was ready for the next level. Would I be interested in the card making class and rubber stamping? Both things that I want to learn but 1) never made it a priority and 2) my schedule was so restricted that I felt I couldn't open up any more. Plus Rob was complaining that he would like it if I was home at night and that we could do more on weekends as a family.
Okay, in order to do that I have to stop working. I can't stop working. I want to but I can't.
My mind has been spinning with all this for months. With what this teacher is asking of me, is this what I'm suppose to do? Can I really stop working and pursue my hobby and passion?
After I put the kids down to bed Friday night. I took my bible and sat down on the couch to meditate before I went into prayer. I couldn't get my brain to shut down. I finally told myself to "shut up" and began my prayer.
*Father, please let me hear you. Tell me what you want me to do. I want to follow your will and I can't hear you or I'm doubting myself. Is what I'm feeling you are me?* (I really prayed more than this but I'm trying to keep it short)
I flipped my bible to 2 Chronicles 1:7- God appeared to Solomon in a dream and said, "What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!"
I closed my bible and I sobbed for ten minutes. Is this really the Lord speaking to me? Can I have my dream? Amazed and just plain humbled I asked God again in prayer to please show me. He knows how thick-headed I can be. I opened up my bible again and this time it was to Jeremiah 25:4- again and again, the Lord has sent you his prophets, but you have not listened or even tried to hear.
I closed my bible and continued to pray and cry.
I hear you Father. You have been talking to me and I wouldn't shut up long enough or really give up control enough to do what you were telling me to. Thank you. Thank you for being there for me.
I kinda felt I was pushing my luck but I asked God to verify this is really what he wanted me to do. I reopened my bible exactly back to Jeremiah 25.
I hear your message Lord and I will submit to your will.
I felt comfortable and free in what I was hearing. I talked to Rob and he agrees that I must make this leap of faith and let go of the control and let the Lord provide, like he always has. I will freely admit I am scared to pieces and that on paper it doesn't look good but this is something that has to be done.
As I was finishing my prayer time God put before me two more verses.
First was Matthew 2:6- For a ruler will come for you who will be the shepherd for my people. (the Lord is my shepherd)
and Romans 4:5- But people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work.
How awesome is this? That the Lord would smack me upside the head and tell me what he wanted. That He loves me enough to guide me and forgive me and to lead me down the enlightened path. I have felt so truly blessed that today I stood before who was their of my congregation and told them most of my experience. I wasn't as eloquent as I am writing this and even before my church family I broke down several times in tears. But for some reason todays message (despair and psalm 113) and the song "over and over again" compelled me to tell of this experience.
I just hope and pray that what God has given for me and that I was able to stand up and say will help someone else in our church or surrounding family.
Oh, and yesterday I gave my notice. My last day will be Sat.21st.
I will pursue my passion in Scrapbooking and maybe take on a couple more classes at J's, which will fill one Saturday a month. Leaving me free. Free for my family and wherever the Lord will lead me. My anger is gone, my despair is gone. My prayers will continue, to stay strong, and listen, to have faith and give up the control.
PS my bible has no tabs, I just let my fingers do the walking.

Photo shoot

So I was talking to my Mom and she would like me to take Wyatt's 3 yr pictures instead of us going to Sears. So I thought I would practice on Kelly first to get things set. Knowing Wyatt he isn't going to give me much and I will have to work very fast.

This shot of Kelly would be perfect as an 8x10 and put some type of quote on the black space to her right.

This bottom picture is so typical of these two right now. For the life of me I couldn't get them to work together.

Kelly is huffing cause she has to share the light with Wyatt and Wyatt could care less, he really just wants to get down off the kitchen table.
Now after I had taken a bunch of shots I uploaded so that we could check them out. That's when I noticed how "cool" they looked. So I flipped over my reflector and tried the warm side. These last two shots of Kelly relect that.

So lesson learned. I need a helper to hold the reflector. I need a helper to work with Wyatt so that I can take a clear picture of him. I changed my settings so that they were faster but that boy is greased lightning.

Look at all the red in their hair?

I have mom on a hunt to find a picture of Mikey at Wyatt's age. Right now with all that hair he reminds me so much of Mikey it's not funny. Not that that is a bad thing, it just amazes me. So I have one more backdrop to try out and I must take notes so that I know what techniques worked for me with each color.

So for Dad here is Today's pictures of the kids. And one of me trying to wrestle Wyatt into place so that I could take one picture of him.

This just reaffirms that I'm not going to waste money at Sears to get wholly frustrated so that I might get a shot of Wyatt for his 3rd year photos. I'll do it myself and I can do it over a few days.

I have a remote switch that can trigger the shutter on the camera. I am struggling with Kelly cause she wants to push the button. No problem, except she wants to look up into the camera and all I get is a shot of her nostrils. Not cute. And the switch is only two feet long. I need to look for a 6fter. Oh, Rooobbb......... ;)

But this includes Kelly in the process and makes her more of a willing subject. Now if I could just get Wyatt to sit still...........

Scrap crap related

if you like bo bunny scrappin supplies you gotta check out their new lines coming http://www.bobunny.com/topsecret/Summer%20Release_files/SummerCatalog.pdfthis fall. Yes click on this link and scroll through the 40 pgs of products.
Now one of my other favorite new companies is called Piggy Tales and you should be able to check out their new stuff here http://piggytales.com/CHASummer2007SneakPeek.php.
Also Mom likes Rusty Pickle papers and they have a new line out called "Captain Jack". I'm thinking I may need to get some of these in September when we go to Phx. sorry I don't have a link yet but I'll keep you posted.
Hugs Carrie

Goood Friday Morning!!

We are just hanging out this morning getting the house cleaned up from Rob installing 5 windows yesterday. Yes in all that heat. But it was fairly easy for him to change them. Now we are just killing off all the flies that came in. Lovin the new windows. We will see this winter how much of a change we have made. Now if we could just finish the bathroom........

When it came to changing the window in the scrap room/drum room I had to move most of my stuff so Rob could even reach the window. Which led me to a point about organization. Rob and I have talked before and I have seen it in person and we agree that this piece of furniture would be beneficial to my scrap crap organization.

Also this morning I took a picture of the last layout that needed to get done. And then.... I took some photos of Kelly and Wyatt. I need to wash my white sheet or at least iron it out but I was just playing around. So without further ado.....

Have a happy 7/7/07/!

I suck.
Set up tripod. check
put long lens on camera. check
put camera on tripod. check
turn camera on. check
what? NO memory card. WTF!!!
(what the f*ck)
I forgot that when I uploaded the scrapbook pages to take the card out of the computer.
Now, I have 3 cards total, the rest are still stitting on the computer desk because I was waiting to get my paris pictures back before I deleted the pictures off.
dork. dork. dork.
Oh well there is always next year. Right?

So we pretty much just hung around the house for the 4th. Took a quick run to best buy and joanns but otherwise we had some cake and ice cream with mom and I gave her the east indian tapestry that I bought in Paris. Had sesame chicken for dinner and went and saw the fireworks.
Hope you had a better 4th!
hugs Carrie

Happy 4th of July!! and Happy Birthday MOM!!!

I love fireworks! I'm hoping tonight we will go see the fireworks up on A mountain. I think if we go I will try to take some shots and see what I can get. This year at least the kids can enjoy them also.
Birthday girl (Mom) should be stopping by later this afternoon and I have bought a cake and I have her present. Okay the present isn't wrapped but it's in a bag. Does that count.

Well I've been pretty busy the last couple of days but I'm almost finished with all the layouts needed for JoAnns and Babies R Us. Shown below are the newborn boy and girl layouts. Both kids are at 1 month old. You should be able to click on the to see them bigger.

The baby shower layout is primarily done but I'm gonna go to J's with mom today and I will pick up some 3-d embellishments that will make the layout pop some more. The birthday layout has been a favorite and is actually the only birthday layout I have ever done. Yep Kelly is turning 5 soon and this is the first b-day layout for either kid.

I still need to do the wedding layout but I need to get a photo sized so I'm going to have to go to Walgreens for a quickie size job. The picture in my head is very elegant looking and I have at least completed the journaling.
Do you like my "background"? when I was at wally world they had cheap flat sheets in black ,white and tan that I can use for backdrops. Granted they need to be ironed but in a pinch I think it worked very well.

Gotta go beat some children :)

Happy 4th!!

It's too dang hot to be outside so the kids and I are going to be laying low around the house. It also doesn't help that I have a little cold and runny nose. Summer colds suck.

Finally went back to work Friday and some of Saturday. business has been really bad so I was sent home early on Saturday. No problem from me cause Pop called (Kim's dad) and he took us out to dinner.

Pop had stopped by late last week and asked me a few questions and then he took the kids and I to breakfast. Pop asked me if I wanted Kims cake decorating stuff. Then he wanted my full name, birthdate and social. When I asked why, he said he has made me #2 behind his brother Matt to inherit. Kinda freaked me out and honored me in the same breath. I didn't want to think about any one else dying for a while.

Pop hasn't gone through Kim's house yet and is in no hurry but he will contact me when he is ready. That's fine cause I'm not ready yet either.

**So I got some further insight from the sewing teacher about this scrapbook layout for Babie's R us. I guess one of their district coordinators took my class and was so impressed by my confidence and product knowledge that she came into the store specifically asked if I could make 3 layouts for their store to go with whatever else that Joann's is doing. That was such a cool compliment :). I have had a couple of classes that just clicked and some I have struggled to connect with the students. I believe I remember this lady and it was in one of my good classes.

So today I have to run to Wally world and pick up the photos for the layouts that I need to get done and then it's time to get to work.

** A scrappin heads up. The CHA or Craft and Hobby Assoc is gearing up and previews of what is coming out for the Fall and Winter scrappin products are starting to make their rounds so If I see something cool I'll try to post a picture or link here.

I'm also going to be taking some NEW shots of the kids and of Rob. So keep a lookout.

hugs C

Excuses

Okay, I've been laying low and generally feeling like not blogging since I started the Paris update. But since everyone who reads this has talked to me since I got back has heard how it went....well.... I don't want to rehash is right now. I'm still percolating how it really affected me.

So I was having a cool conversation with Julie and Andrea and I realize that except for some links on the side I don't talk about scrapping too much, if at all.

So right now in Carrie's scrappin world I finally feel like I have enough "scrap crap" to get things done. I have been on a layout creating spree and except for this week since I was getting the house ready for the Taste of Home Party I haven't gotten much done.

But all that is about to change.

I got a call from Joann's and they need 4/5 sample using products that I already have. I have to do a; wedding page, birthday page (using Fiskars clear stamps), newborn (boy +girl), baby shower. The first two pages are for the store the other 3 pgs are for something the store is doing with Babies R Us. This is making my mind wizz with ideas. If I remember I'll try to take pictures and post them. Maybe I should look into getting a scanner....hhmmm....

I'll try to do a better job of blogging.

I'm looking for new ideas to decorate the living room at low cost prices. My creative juices are a flowing I just need to Git R Done!!

Try to stay cool. this 106-110 heating really sucks if your outside but I have hunkered down in the house and only go outside a few times a day. Heck once it hits 101 it all feels the same until it hits 110 then you really feel it.

So have a good Thursday, I teach at Joanns tonight (5 people signed up!)

hugs C

What we did on Saturday 16th

the kids and I hit the mall on Saturday so that I could pick up some wide head bands at Claire's. Well the kiddos fell in love with all the colors of the necklaces and bracelets and earrings oh my! Kelly saw all the different earrings and asked if she could have them. I had to explain that they put a hole in your ears and that it hurts for a few seconds..... this is a recap of what we told her the night before when she was playing with my earrings. We grabbed her ear and pinched to show her kinda how it would feel. Yeah, she didn't like that but once she saw all the earrings, things changed)...... So we talked to the lady about doing a double piercing where the ladies stand on either side and get it done. So Kelly climbs up into the seat and waits while they find a second gun and I let her pick out whatever earring that she wants. She choose blue (her favorite color) and also her birthstone. Then the ladies counted to 3....1....2 pierced.....3 tears start. Kelly only cried for a minute and was much better when they gave her 2 suckers.

So far she is healing great and we are cleaning her ears 3x a day like instructed. In 6-8 weeks we will do a little shopping for some new earring to coinside with school. Haha.

Paris day 1+2

Meet Team Paris: left to right; Beverly, Carrie, Toni (Red), Karen, Ron. This photo was taken at Dulles airport just before we boarded the plane.

10+ hrs later and very tired. Two kids sat behind Beverly and I and so we got little to no sleep. We take our first Metro train ride to Champs de Mar/ Eiffel Tower. Now once you come up from the subway you can see the tower and in fact we followed the crowd to get there (which was maybe 1/2 a block). This is one of the first images I caught through the trees of the park that surrounds the tower.

The lines to go up were hellasiosly (sp?) long and I so was not interested in going up if it meant I had to wait 2+hours. So we walked around the park and I got some other shots (you'll have to see my picture album). We had baguette sandwiches for lunch that were hard as rocks that most of us gave to the gypsy ladies when they came begging. This is the shot I took of us at lunch and can you see who is behind us? Yep walking around are military men and they carry automatic weapons. cozy huh?

This was taken just before the gypsy women came up and asked if we spoke english. Guess what dummy here said? Then they show you this card saying how poor they are and can you give them money. Since I had no money I told them no and then they made miming motions and pointed to our lunch that we were in the process of eating. That just made me mad. These people did NOT look down on their luck at all. They were clean, their clothes were clean etc. But since our sandwhiches were so hard most of the team gave them their unfinished lunch. When the gypsy's started asking for our drinks also I was not a happy camper.

Now you might think I'm not being very christian. To a degree you are right. But you kind of had to be their and watch them in action.

So after this we had back to our hotel to get cleaned up and to rest a little. Do you wanna see our hotel room? I don't think the porportions are exaggerated at all. I could barely get a leg between our beds and I had to walk sideways to get to our luggage. The beds were smaller than a twin and the first night my leg kept falling off the side of the bed. Not a good nights sleep.

Ron being the only guy got a room to himself. His room was a double on the bottom and a twin bunk bed on top. His room had lots of space to move around. SOOO we talked him into moving into our room so that we could have his. guess what? his AC broke so they moved him into another room like the one he had. so as we made the switch from this to Rons new bunk bed room we discovered that this room was also a little small. Ron's broken ac room was a fluke in size but we did have slightly more room with the bunk on top (which Karen slept in). So Ron got our mini twin bed room (this one pictured) and we got a room that I forgot to photograph.

Next stop Notre Dame- People were so nice, they sometimes would ask if you would like them to take your picture of course you take them up on it! It was a hazy day about 10-11am. Mass was going on inside and you could walk through while they had it. Every nook and cranny is awe inspiring. Just so much detail. You could even pay to walk on the top between the towers. I believe it was 422 steps to the top. We went in a prayed and I snapped some more shots inside we headed over to the left of the picture to eat lunch and our first round of souvenior shopping. I wandered to the back of the church and across the street where these guys were playing. Kinda French Jazz. Just FYI -Notre Dame sits on an island in the Seine river. As you can tell these guys were on one of the bridges. Shortly after this shot the bridge filled with people to sit and enjoy them playing.

Next Stop: Sacre Couer- The tram was broken so we had to climb all the steps to get to the top and YES I did it!

Sacre Couer is on the highest peak in Paris and you can pretty much see the whole town from up there. Not as awe inspiring as Notre Dame it still is intriguing to look at. I couldn't take pictures inside but I got a postcard that shows the tile work that is cool. It depicts Jesus with his arms stretched out. Very cool.

I have tons of detail shots I could show but you'll have to see my photo album. I can't wait to scrap this stuff.

So stop by soon and see day 3+4.

Hugs Carrie

I'm baaaaack!!!

didn't sleep very well last night. I kept having a very strange dream. The airport at Charles de Gaulle is round and in my dream last night someone kept driving me around it, I would stop and say hi to people I know and then the car would keep going.... Weird huh?

I'm sitting here in my jammies and kinda tired and I don't feel like getting dressed. I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks and they are pretty furry.

I haven't downloaded the 600+ photos that I took....I'm actually a little afraid to do it....

I have unpacked my bags and I'm on my second load of laundry.
I have caught up on my emails and have read two blogs.
I made breakfast for me and the kids.
Rob has called me 3x so far this morning.
My mom called. And I just got off the phone with my friend Wendy who totally forgot that I went to Paris and was just calling to see how my week was going.

What??? This isn't what you wanted to hear? You wan to hear about the trip??

Well please give me another day. I'm feeling very lethargic and out of sorts right this minute and just typing this is draining me. Plus I want to show pictures with my story.

But thank you. I missed all of you so much and boy am I glad to be home.

Love carrie

Bon Jour

Hello from Paris
I miss you all so much.*
We just finished our mission yesterday and today is just for sightseeing. I have pretty much mastered the metro system and am the official navigator for the trip.
I really want to be home.
It is somewhat different and the people have been very nice to us.
I will fill in all the details later.
Its hard to type because the keyboard isnt the same as at home.
Look for me on Thursday
Love Carrie

I'm leaving...on a jet plane

won't be coming home again... till Wednesday June 13th 9:30pm!!!!

Rob and I are having steak and potatoes for dinner and then we are going to see Pirates 3. so I don't see where I could make a lenghty post.

Take care of yourselves and I'll see you soon.

Love you all and Thank you

Carrie

50 lbs? Yeah right

I have finished packing and can I say that my biggest suitcase weighed in at 55lbs.

After rearranging I have gotten it down to 50 even by my scale. I had to take out my pillow and move my bible to the small case. I have the small case at 40lbs. hehehe. Poor thing is stuffed to the gills. Once we get to Paris and the missionaries I can take out the bottle of vitamins, peanut butter, and pickles, plus like 5 hardcover books. Then I'll have room for the souveniers (sp?).

All my suitcases have all my info inside and out. I'm ready for just about anything.

Getting very excited and nervous!

I found a book at Costco that is Paris; then and now. It is full of photos of the different sites around Paris and how they have or have not changed. I flipped through it fast but it looked cool.

**So I have made Rob a few lists of bills to pay, groceries to buy etc, etc.

One more day to get any last minute items.

Have a great one! Carrie

post memorial day weekend

Hi to ALL!

Had a very nice weekend. mom, kids and I did Family Day in the Park on Saturday. The kids had a great time and they did so well. Toward the end even Kelly was yelling out "Ice cold water" to bring people to our booth. Once the water was out of the big cooler Kelly decided to jump in. Wyatt followed wearing a fresh diaper. dang it (I would have stripped him). Two kids laughing and playing in a cooler was hilarious. And of course I didn't bring the camera. Lots of people got a kick out of seeing them laughing and splashing. It was a much enjoyed relief from the heat.

Sunday we just hung around the house and Yesterday besides me going to work in the evening, Rob went golfing with his new clubs for the first time. Rob and Mikey went to Enke course at 6:20am and played 18 holes. They both looked so whipped when they got home. Rob ended up taking a nap and chillin' till I left for work.

I spent the day packing. I'm almost 100% done and my big suitcase is very close to exceeding the 50lb limits. I'm going to try and cram more into the little suitcase because it has about 20lbs more to go.

Otherwise getting excited and nervous about Friday. I have to be at the airport at 6am!!

Now I have learned that there is lots of internet cafes so maybe I will try and post from Paris. that would be so cool.

Okay time to go clean the house before home group tonight.

Oh Yeah potty training Wyatt is getting there. Yesterday we had no accidents except when he pooped in his pullup. Even when wearing pants that boy poops in them. I can't get him to understand that he needs to use the potty for that too. But he is doing very good considering I will put him in a pullup or diaper depending on where we are going.

So hugs to you I'm off to clean and finish packing.

C

ps the picture of the flowers is from the bouquet that I got for Kim.

Kid-ism's

"Mom can you go take a shower?"
This is code for "So I can do what I want".
I made the kids cereal but it's on the table and not on her Ariel tv tray that sits on the floor.
She comes up to me and says the above and I just have to smile. she thinks she is so slick.

**Potty training resumes today........ we shall see how it goes.
Picked up the graduation pictures from Clements center for Ms.Kelly and talked to Gloria(the coordinator). She said once Wyatt is potty trained to sign him up for this fall. Thinking that might be a good idea...

Goodbye/ Hello

Last night was Kim's memorial service. I didn't shed a tear.I'm not saying this as a brag it's that the priest that performed the service didn't know Kim and therefore didn't touch me.

I think what helped was that that morning I had helped with a collage of pictures of Kim. Lots of good memories popped up.

For the service I orderded a bouquet of 4 dozen gerber daisies in multicolors. That was Kims favorite flower and I couldn't give her a proper send off without them. I will have to take a picture of them. Pop asked if there was any arrangement there at the service that I wanted to take home and I asked for mine back. I hope to be able to press some of the flowers and perserve as many as possible. Pop liked that idea.

Yesterday was a beautiful day and myself and another of our friends Elena, felt good. Kim is in a better place, she doesn't hurt, she isn't disappointed, she is with family that she has missed deeply for years. For me, I know Kim is finally happy.

I have been remembering lots of shananigans that we got into and some of the stuff we have done together. I remember good times and bad. And even though there was a point I wanted to end the friendship something always held me back. She was the sister I didn't have, that dysfuntional sisterly love/hate we had for each other.

I will not saint Kim as I speak of her. We had good/bad times, and I would do a disjustice to both of us if I tried to make everything rosy.

I have learned more about myself and things that I want to get written down for my kids to know about me. I want more pictures taken with my kids and my hubby. I never want to hear that no one can find a picture of me with my family including my brother, mother and father.

The priest did say one thing that really made the whole service; It's not about the day you were born or the day you died, it's the dash in between those dates and what you did with it that matters.

This is a what matters most. the lives you touch and the people who love you.

***In other news, after almost one freaking year, I was cleaning up my suitcase and I found my bible!! I searched this suitcase 3x last year and didn't feel it. This is the bible that I just recently replaced with a hardcover version (which is going to Mikey). I am so excited because in there are bookmarks from my baptism, vbs,etc. SO Yay God! thank you for giving this back to me, It has weighed on my mind for the last year that," how could I lose my bible?"

So have a beautiful day. hug someone you love

Carrie

The hits keep coming.

Last night was Kelly's graduation. We couldn't get her to look at the camera in her very pretty dress unless she was making a funny face, so this is the best shot from before graduation.

At graduation we struggled to get her to put on the cap and gown, once that was on grandmom stayed with her as the kids were to walk up the aisle and sit on the stage. Kelly lost it. She wouldn't do any of it. Kelly ended up sitting in the audience with us and we couldn't coax her to get her certificate. The after graduation photos didn't go much better. I don't think the guy got a shot of her. I was ready to cry, oh hell, I did cry. I asked my mom what did I do wrong, that my child is so introverted that she won't do anything that her classmates do. It really upsets me that Kelly doesn't or refuses to try to do anything with anyone unless she really knows the other kids. So after we did the graduation pictures we immediately left. We did not stay for the cake or to hang out.

I know I shouldn't let this bother me and I know where it comes from. Wanting that child who takes the perfect picture, who does what you tell them, and actually talks to the other kids and plays with them.

I now have to work on "my" thinking or my idea of how my child is, not what I want her to be.

**** so this morning we had another hit. Our little boston terrier Bubba passed away last night. We buried him this morning next to the grave of our boxer Brewtus. Rob has taken the day off again and he really is having a hard time dealing with all of this but he hasn't cried and he says he feels he has nothing inside. I think this all stems from his father's death many years ago. I feel that he has not grieved.

I told Kelly that Bubba went to heaven and that we won't see him again. I know she doesn't fully understand but she hasn't asked where he is yet either. I also said we only have Chester (who isn't doing great- he's 12) and Braxton to play with now. She said "Okay" and we will see how it goes.

**The memorial service for Kim is scheduled for Monday at 6pm at Arizona Mortuary on Stone. I still have some friends of Kim to tell once I can get their phone numbers.

So I think since all the family is home today we will go out to lunch or do anything to get us out of the house.

So if you pray please pray for us right now, we so need to be spiritually renewed.

Love, Carrie

I lost my best friend

This morning at 1:15am Kim passed away. Her passing was peaceful. By her side was her Dad Frank, her friend and neighbor Pat and myself.
I received word from her Dad around 11:30 yesterday morning that it wouldn't be much longer. My mother in law took the kids and I went up to be with Kim.
Friends came through to say their goodbyes and to pray. I sat by her side and talked to her as much as I could. We told all the stories that we could remember and teased her about some of our exploits.
One of the most touching moments was when Rob left to go home he told Kim goodbye and she raised her hand and waved. That was the most consious/responsive she was to anyone. Unless you were holding her hand then she might give you a squeeze.
I know she is in a better place and that she is no longer in pain. She is with family in heaven that she has missed so much. Probably arguing with her mom right now:)
I love her and miss her and she is in my heart.

good news, bad news

Good news:

Over this past weekend we did 3 fundraisers and netted $600. Yee Haw! with additional checks that have come in we have met our goal!!! I'm going to Paris! I'm very nervous because the people there are so fasionable and because of where I'm working I'm gonna look like a frump. All of my shirts most cover my rump and show no cleavage. I'm going to look HUGE!

Bad news: On friday Kim's dad Frank stopped by the house to let me know that besides the cancer being back that the doctors have given her 3 months to live. I'm not surprised, I said how bad she is looking. Kim is not giving up hope, she has asked for another round of chemo. I personally believe this round will kill her. She can't take much more and I just don't want her to be in anymore pain. If she continues on they will eventually move her to hospice. The doctors have said that there isn't anymore they can do concerning pain meds, if she switches to hospice then they can drug her as much as she wants.

This is the last picture taken with Kim in it. This was taken at Wyatt's birthday last year.

Kim has lost 73lbs since Dec. That should put her under 150. I was teasing her that I knew she wanted to be skinny but this was pushing it. Kim is not eating or drinking........she is letting herself die.

Prayers for Kim, that God will ease her suffering and take her quickly. That she will remember how much we love her and that she will make peace with God and follow him to heaven.

funny things kids say

Doing much better today. I've been baking for this Saturday's bake sale like a mad demon. This time around I had a little helper with me. Kelly just loves to dump some of the ingredients into the mixing bowl. I like that she has taken an interest in helping. Shoot she even helps dry the dishes when I'm done.

Cute thing that I want to remember is that yesterday we went to Fry's to pick up some things I had run out of when Kelly asked if we could get some "wockles". I laugh just typing it out.

"We need what honey?"

"Wockles"

Do you mean waffles?

yeah, wockles

I'm not going to try and correct it because it is too cute. She will learn soon enough. It reminds me how my brother would say spaghetti.

And no I didn't buy any wockles.

Wyatt has really started to increase his vocabulary and is identifying his colors very well. I really love how when something someone does interests him he goes, "my turn, my turn". He has the cutest voice.

There have been so many changes in my little guy recently. He will get his shoes when I ask for them, he is getting better at undressing himself and we are working on the getting dressed part. he loves to drink ice water as long as it is from my cup with a straw. I can't do this with his cup but he will drink from mine.

Oh, this one happened last night. I like to watch reruns of the 70's show. Well they were playing the theme song and at the end of the song they sing "We're all alright, we're all okay",

Yes, Kelly sang just that last part. I whipped my head around to look at her and she was playing with a toy at the table not really paying attention. The tv was only on in the living room and I was in the kitchen. It was just so surprising to hear this little voice sing nothing else but that line. I guess I watch the show too much.

Not much else I can think of right now. I need to get the next round of bread ready and go make Kelly's bed. I still need to go buy stamps so that I can mail out my thankyou cards.

Can you believe 2 weeks before Paris? I'm starting to have anxiety. I just don't feel ready for this trip yet. I will start to work on the packing this weekend, getting the travel toiletries and my books and magazines ready. I need to call the camera shop and see if they can show me how to clean the sensor on my camera. It is supposed to be done every few months but it's been over a year and I'm sure it needs it. I want to take the best pictues of course. Gosh, I'm sooo nervous. breathe, breathe, breathe. don't hyperventilate, slow and deep. Make lists. I need to make more lists.

Okay off to keep baking, list making, bed making, card making, snack making(soon), all that mommy stuff. breathe

Have a good weekend and I'll try to update this weekend.

rough day

I'm not totally sure where to start and I just know I'm going to ramble so please bear with me. The last couple of months I have been dealing with lots of anger issues. to the point where I would just love to crawl into a hole and have people leave me alone but then I would still be angry cause no one came calling. i always thought I would make a great hermit. okay back to anger. I have been angry from many angles. Angry at my life, and why i'm to chicken to take chances, angry at my family for stupid stuff like not thinking things through, angry at Kim because she won't call me and I don't think she wants to live and I ca't get her to tell me anything going on in her head. I'm angry at members of my church family because they are to sensitive and after 4+ years together they won't be real. Angry at other members for not being willing to step up and help out. lots of angry. but I realize that i'm not angry at God.
I went to visit Kim this morning and I admit I was angry and hurt because she hasn't called me or answer her phone when I have called. So in my head I plan all these things I might say if the opportunity comes up. I walk into her room and she is asleep in her recliner. At first i wasn't sure if i should wake her but it gave me a chance to study her and she looks so much worse than she did a couple of weeks ago. She has lost 73lbs. Except for her butt and stomach she is nothing but skin and bones. her face is so hollowed out that she resembles a skeleton. The swelling that she had is way down but she still needs assistance to get up and down from the bed or chair. She is still in lots of pain and is on a continous and manual diloted(sp?) pump. Here's the kicker. The cancer is back but it has relocated to her stomach, hence the pain. They can only do more chemo. She found this out yesterday, her father doesn't know yet. I asked if she could do another round of chemo and she said yes. I asked if she felt like she was getting stronger, she said good days and bad days, and immediately said," I don't want to talk about it right now".
Anger. because I want to know and understand. I want to know what's rattling around in that brain of hers. I worry that she is going to die while I'm away or that she is going to die anyway. Anger at her for staying closed off to me. Anger at myself for living my life and not being there enough for her. Did I do enough? I will always think probably not. Did I put her before me? No I was too hurt and I wanted her to hurt. Do I blame her for the cancer and her treatments and her attitude? (tired)Yes. I know this sounds unreasonable but I blame her for getting cancer and not giving a good fight. She had a year warning that they found cancer cells and she did nothing. Only in movies or seen pictures of people in Africa have I seen a person look soo bad, so gaunt. I feel that she has given up. what if that's not true?? How can I know if she can't speak more than a whisper but her eyes look so tired. Angry. Angry that my life is continuing on and she's not an active part. We have had lots of ups and downs over the years but this isn't how I wanted things to go. I wouldn't dream this on my worst enemy.
So I believe and I could be wrong that alot of my anger is centered around Kim. I feel in other areas that I need my voice to be heard and I need to step up and I need to let people know I can contribute. I don't know, I really don't.
Ramblings of a very drained person. I cried most of the way home from the hospital and I'm fighting tears again as I type this out. Hopefully tomorrow when I go back up to the hospital I will be better and have a slightly better understanding.
Much peace to you and yours. C

lots of pictures

My kids just loooove their Uncle Monkey. Kinda evident huh???
Wyatt has taken to crawling all over the poor guy each time he comes over. But I know Mikey likes it. I actually have tons of shots of this session, where at one point Wyatt is beating Mikey in the head and one of him covering his eyes.

So yesterday the kids and I went to the childrens museum. They had such a blast. I could barely get them from room to room. We will definitely go again this summer. We needed more than 2 hours to do it all. I hung out with the ladies from my mommies group while the kids played in the Farmers Market. They got to grocery shop and play with lincoln logs and duplo blocks while we ladies chatted. We went as soon as they opened, which was nice cause it was just us and a small school group.

Okay no pictures of this but today I signed Kelly up for Kindergarten. Oh gosh! Oh gosh! I am super excited but bittersweet all the same. My baby has survived living with me long enough to go to school. It's a proud moment. (seriously I'm not THAT bad) just being a little melodramatic for fun, sortof. hehehe

I'm very happy that she will be going to TAG Elementary. We know so many families that go there that it should be a good transition. One of the kids from her sunday school might even be in her class. Cool!!

**Getting excited about Paris but i still need to raise $700 by the end of May. Yikes. God willing it will work out fine. Right now I'm hitting travel websites for all the places we might go see after our mission is over.

Before I forget SORRY DAD that I have no pictures of Mikeys new rims. You'll just have to keep an eye out I'll get them on here sooner or later.