Tuesday, November 07, 2006

elections

thank god the annoyance is about to end. have you been getting at least 5 calls a day??
Like a good american i voted today and i am anxious to see the results, i'm just tired of being bombarded with all the calls and ads.
Happy tuesday. my mom in law had the kids overnight so i got some work done. okay it time for me to be real, so hold on to your hats.
I need to stop blaming the kids as to why i get nothing done. its my own fault. lately i've been in what I'm calling a depression, not wanting to clean, organize or do pretty much anything. Today i have been forcing myself to make some goals and get things done. my entire house is a mess and with the holidays coming i can't take it anymore.
Why am i saying drepression. since we think we might be moving i've been torn between sentimental and happy, sad and can't wait. i haven't wanted to decorate for halloween or thanksgiving and part of me wants to pack things now but another part says that the things i can pack now i should just get rid of. i really need help with this and am not sure i would like to hear what others think. yes i need to streamline and dejunk. but the thought of doing so is daunting.
So for the rest of this week i will be working on wyatt's room and scraproom and next week my bedroom. these are doable goals but i need to make some internal changes. less tv and computer and more prayer and meditation. i need to really change my frame of mind.
*I kept telling myself that i wanted a blog not just so that family could keep up but that what i was thinking would be journalized for future scrapbooking and reflection. i have been fighting a big war in myself about letting go and finding my passion but i feel guilty because the rest of the house is literally in shambles. rob says i need to work through it but i really don't like a messy house. I can piture my mom smiling.
I'm also frustrated because so far pima comm.college doesn't off their photography classes any longer and i need and want to learn more. so i'm looking into other alternatives. i'm also doing some big praying that we could find a way financially so that i wouldn't have to work. this is also dragging me down. even though i should be starting a new job soon i don't want to work. period. i don't want to work. i want to learn and create. i want to learn. i want to make beautiful stuff because i know i can.
all this typing is my therapy. sometimes things just flow out of me that i don't say out loud. this is the reason for this blog. life is not all nicey nice and i'm not going to do it anymore.
"the best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up"- Mark Twain
I am thankful for all my friends and family. thank you for being my friends and inspiration. love C

2 comments:

Julie said...

Carrie,

I am sorry you are feeling crappy. Have you ever looked at flylady.net? I have used her system on and off for awhile now, it is amazing how much I can get done in 15 minute blocks. Best of all, her website is free!!

Remember to take the joy from raising your children now!! Before you know it Wyatt will be showing you his new tattoos...(like my sweet, adorable son!)

ma said...

Hello Daughter,

I'm late with this-never enough time for everything. Please, Please, do not be too hard on yourself--I blame myself for part of the problem, because I see your house and at times I am too judgemental--so don't pay any attention to me--know that I love you and will helpwith anything I can
love
ma