For the last couple weeks I have been working on the second installment of the Artist's Way books called Walking in the World.
Oh my goodness how this book has spoken to me.
Do you know when people tell you that you need to hear or do something X amount of times until you get it? This has been my X. I've completed my tasks for this week and I think my favorite has been my letter to my inner artist. Before I re-write what I wrote (type that 5 times fast) I also want to mention my second favorite task which was to write 20 things that you wish for. That task was an eye opener because I think it truly showed who Carrie really is. As a person I feel that I'm greedy, materialistic, and selfish most of the time but give me 20 things to wish for, and dang it! I guess wishes are selfish! I found that most of what I was wishing for leaned more towards making me a better person.
Here is a few things that I wished for: a large studio, to travel with my family, more generous, an interior designer for my home, a cleaner house, to be more brave, to take classes in any subject that interests me, to have original ideas, etc..

My last task was to write a letter to my inner artist. I don't plan on rewording everything so that it flows better for you, this is just my thought process as I wrote the letter.
To my inner artist,
I have down played  my creative nature for so long, I still don't know what it would look like to truly set free. My dream from many years ago has been this, to have a home in Oregon, mostly Astoria, with a beautiful view of God's world around me. A big studio with lots of light to just create. I wanted to have family picnics in the vibrant green grass and go sailing on a calm lake or tossed around on the  ocean. Yes, I have spent many years holding back and not even trying because I thought that I'm not enough. Honestly that was fear and fear is mostly in our heads, it doesn't materialize. I want people to know my dreams, because I feel we are all connected and who knows, maybe that one person is part of my path that will lead me closer to my dream. I have always had a "try something once" attitude and "life is an adventure". Why didn't I apply that to my creative life sooner? I need to stop worrying about the cost of one piece of paper and try. If I fail, what happens? I at least know how not to do it. Experiment, let go. Experiment with color, with angles. Put your visions on paper and revisit them often. Admire those around you for their strengths and avoid looking down on people. We are all on a journey, for this you know too well. Some prosper, some give up, some deny, and some at least try. Obviously right now you are trying many creative avenues. I think that this is a good thing, many things in life are intertwined, who knows where it can/will lead you. Are you open? Are you willing? Than enjoy the ride.