Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I have been thinking about my last post. Come to find out I had both strep and tonsillitis and an ear infection. Oh yeah, can't forget the fever that lasted for 3 days. That was one of the worst 6 days I've had in a long time.
I finished my last dose of antibiotics Monday morning and I'm feeling so much better.
That's great news because this week has been almost insanely busy.
Yesterday was slightly nuts; the truck was put in to get the brakes done, so I had to rely on my mother in law for transportation, thank you Inez. Rob got stuck on the highway for a couple of hours because of a semi truck fire. He had planned on being home around 4, he didn't get home until 6:30. We had open house at school and cub scouts. Today isn't shaping up to be any easier. Wyatt is having two teeth removed this morning, he gets his palate expander next month, then after school Kelly is getting a shot and yearly physical. We will pick up Chelsea from school and then we go to the orthodontist to get Kelly's palate expander checked. The kids and I will come to home to Rob for a quick dinner before heading back to scouts for recruiting and paint rain gutter regatta boats. Can't forget all the homework that has to be done!
I feel like I'm swirling in mass chaos right now. I feel that if I can't get a handle on every body's needs and schedules, everything is just going to fall apart.
Lately, I tend to feel very overwhelmed and out of control. Wyatt has mass amounts of homework and right now getting him to focus is like pulling teeth. It has come down to it that the TV cannot be on while anyone is doing homework. For us it means that the TV is rarely on. We like our TV, but it is also hard for the last person doing homework, because the other kids get to play while that one person is still working.
I know all this will iron out and become our new norm but right now it is a very uncomfortable adjustment period.
One thing that has helped me over the last week is being able to get a little bit of crafting done. I had to make a recruitment poster for cub scouts, Rob needed a new cross for his journal and Kelly was wanting Hello Kitty on her binder for school. It felt really good to be able to make something.
I have also come to the realization that I have got to start purging some stuff. I think subconsciously that is part of my problem, living in chaos and clutter. If I can clean that up then I might feel a little bit better, right now it just feels never ending and I don't have the want or drive to accomplish the tasks. I'll eventually snap out of it and get it done. Hopefully sooner rather than later.


Friday, August 09, 2013

Photo taken 2010 Sedona
The first full week of school is almost over and we are slowly getting back into a routine of homework, scouts and such.
Me? I'm still struggling. It surely hasn't helped that I haven't been feeling well since Tuesday. What I thought was sinus drainage Wednesday morning, looks like strep and even after more than 24hrs on antibiotics my throat still hurts. Thankfully the fever is gone. If things aren't getting better by tonight I just may need to go to the doctors.
But that's not what's on my mind.
I'm struggling and I don't know what questions to ask to find the source. Even now, trying to type this, my mind is flying from here to there with no direction.
Maybe that's it. I have no direction.
My plans were to clean up and organize my scrap room this week. Seriously, just the thought of going in there sends me to the couch and turning on Netflix. It is horrendously bad.
On my creative to do list is catching up the kids' school albums. It should be easy enough and yet I keep putting it off. Procrastination is my middle name.
I know it will make me feel better.

A few months ago I decided that I was going to be more positive in every aspect of my life, I thought it would bring about some pleasant changes that would begat more pleasant changes. Yes, I said begat. I went from trying to think happy to crappy really quick. I can't seem to turn off the negative talk in my head. I'm tired all the time and just don't have any drive.
Since I've been sick anyway, I've been doing some reading. I'm still working through the book, The Woman's book of Creativity by C. Diane Ealy and while at Bookman's found a book called, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant.
Both books have talked about getting quiet and I just have one excuse after another about why I can't make the time to get quiet. The second book is actually a 40 day devotional about working towards spiritual strength and personal growth.
My head is all in a tizzy and yet my butt stays parked.
I pray for something great to happen to light a fire under me. I'm tired of thinking of all the things I can't do and I'm truly trying to focus on the things I can. I'm exhausted from the inner battle. I know I'm being strengthened and in some little way I'm growing, but man does it hurt, and when you lose sight of the light it seems like such a void of nothing all around you. I'm grasping to whatever light I can find to get me where I'm supposed to go. I guess that's all I can do. My faith and prayers are my lifeline but at times I can feel them start to unravel when prayers go unanswered.
Well, I guess that's maudlin enough for today.


Friday, August 02, 2013

All the Ross children are in school!!

To be honest I've dreamt about this day and now that its here it is very bittersweet.
 Yesterday was such a roller coaster. I walked Kelly to the bus stop and watched as she hopped on the bus for the first time. She was so excited about riding the bus that I don't even think she said goodbye.
6th grade and in middle school, I remember kindergarten for her.

Poor Kelly had a heck of a time yesterday. My first phone call came just before 7:30 and she was overwhelmed and freaking out, crying, her teacher got on the line and assured me she would take care of her, normal first day stuff, yada yada. I got my second call of her crying because her schedule has changed from Friday and they have her in band instead of orchestra, what should she do? So I told her what she could do. You could hear her trying to hold it together but by the time she hung up she was loosing it. My poor girl, she has been so excited and nervous about today and I think she is just really overwhelmed, so many changes recently.
This morning as she waited for the bus we talked about how today would be better because she knew what to expect and that it would all work out and be a good day. She was a little teary eyed when she got on and I saw her find her seat, then I watched as she just started to cry, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
When she got home this afternoon I asked her about what I had seen and she said that she missed me and those feelings just took over, but she also said that she didn't cry the rest of the day. Phew.
 Now Wyatt, my main man, he was very easy going. We walked a short distance to the school and proceeded to go on a search for the sign to where the kids were suppose to line up. Well, for some reason his teacher didn't have a sign so we asked another teacher and she directed to where he needed to go. Seeing one of the boys from cub scouts we left him to hang out with his friend while we went around the school to find out where Chelsea was suppose to go.
You talk about mass chaos. Parents and kids EVERYWHERE!!
We found her teachers line just as the whistle blew for the kids to line up and Chelsea was begging to go play at the playground.
With sooooo many parents trying to walk their kids in and poor Chelsea was getting lost from the crowd. I had been told that the parents were to say there goodbyes outside and that they didn't want the parents in the classroom because of possible separation problems, I get it, I know.
After the kids filed in, the parents were invited to a PTO coffee. This was my chance to make sure she made it to her classroom. I peeked in and found her seated on the carpet with most of the other kids as her teacher was trying to get everything sorted out.
After the coffee, we talked with a couple other parents we know and then we headed for the exit, since we would have to walk by Chelsea's classroom again I tried to sneak another little peek to see how things were going. In front of the class door was a TV camera and when they saw me they asked if I had a kid in this class and then asked if I could do an interview.
I looked over at Rob like, what do I say?
I got set up, clipped on the microphone and answered the questions the best my brain could. How nerve wracking. When asked what this day meant to me I almost lost it. Later my mother in law said I looked like I wanted to cry, that's partially true. Really I was just trying to voice a complete thought and speak from the heart.
The way the shot was set up was I was actually facing Rob as I gave my answers, and Rob was videoing me with my cell phone! I could barely think straight and wished I had time to actually think about my answers. I will never be a politician. LOL
The noon news came on and my stomach was in knots, I had watched a small portion of the interview on my phone and was not impressed and slightly horrified.

The piece of interview they showed wasn't that bad and I was relieved it was over.
Then they showed it again at 4pm. That's when the phone calls and text messages started. The kids were all excited to see me on TV.
At 5pm a completely different clip was shown  and surprised me and  I missed the 10pm, which was probably the same clip as 5.
Anyway, after school we came home and ate dinner before we headed off to DQ for our traditional first day of school ice cream.
I'll have to post some of the pictures from when Kelly had her first cone to Wyatt to Chelsea. So cool that I have been able to document all these little milestones. Now that I have the time I plan on getting more things scrapbooked like all these little milestones :)
So I'm sitting here this morning, the house is quiet, the dogs are scattered around the floor sleeping and I say to myself that I should blog.
I have no excuse... and the laundry can wait
A week ago Saturday, Wyatt celebrated his 9th birthday. It's completely cliché, but my goodness where has the time gone.
This kid is truly amazing and I don't think we have really even scratched the surface. His imagination can go off the charts and he can go from bouncing off the walls to cuddled up next to you in just a few heart beats.

This birthday, I think Wyatt got pretty much everything he wanted; video games and Pokémon cards.
The best part of the whole party?
Every one's creative way on disguising his gifts. Aunt Amanda wrapped his gift 3 times. First she wrapped a shoe box, inside the box was another wrapped granola bar box and then he unwrapped his game.
When it came time to open Grandma Ross' gift she had all the clothing on top, then some Pokémon cards and then there was a shoebox, Wyatt opened it and inside were a pair of grandma's shoes! Under the shoes, hidden in tissue paper was another Wii game that Wyatt had been asking for.
When Wyatt opened up Nina's present it was just a card, he looked up a little surprised and then mom handed him his game.

The boy took it all in stride and told us how silly we all are. Hey, it's a family trait, the boy is bound to get it.
In typical Wyatt fashion I could NOT get him to pause long enough to look toward the camera. At one point he was holding up his card and I asked him to freeze and look at me. That was the only clear shot I got out him.
So crazy, I love this guy.
Here are some interesting things about Wyatt at age 9:
He is addicted to video games whether it is on his DS, Wii or the computer. During the summer he is only allowed a certain time frame to play one or the other, and during school he can only play on weekends.
Wyatt likes to watch Adventure Time, Really Real show, Scooby Doo, Harry Potter and Star Wars.
This boy is still my earliest riser, he is usually up by 5:30 and raring to go.
He is finally willing to try new foods and has found that he likes ranch beans.
It's still comical 
 to watch his expression as he is tasting something new. Afterwards we ask him if he liked it and he will reply, yeah, but when you ask if he would like more we usually get a, no thank you.
This year Wyatt will be entering the 4th grade at Kellond elementary and will be participating in the GATE program.
Also this year, he will be a first year Webelos in cub scouts.
Two more years and he will be headed off to Boy Scouts if he chooses, which we hope he does.